Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Women's rights.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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Black Veil Brides.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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96

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops