Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Black Veil Brides.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Cows go moo.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Japan called... They need help.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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42.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops