A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

Barack Obama

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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