A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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Nah

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Baseball

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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