What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

What abou three times

Christopher Walken to a bar.

There's no "i" in tim.

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

like for a handjob.

What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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