Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why was Timmy sad?

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That didn't hurt.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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I have no ideas.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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