What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Womens Rights.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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