One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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