what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Frown is a four letter word.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a black man named mike

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops