Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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The horse said "nay."

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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