How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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Obama

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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knock knock

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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