what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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