roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats the difference between a battery and a charger

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is next?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops