HARRY EFFING STYLES

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

Why was Timmy sad?

How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

oh hiya come in

How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...