what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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Kah-________-

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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