Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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anne hatthaway

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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