Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What is next?

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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