A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Do you need any assistance?

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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whats really hot the sun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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