Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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democracy

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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