What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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women's rights

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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