A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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poop

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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