- Anti Joke

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

Turn around.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

a

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.