my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

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Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

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what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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What is Earth made out of? Earth

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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what is stupid and reading this you

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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