Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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96

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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