Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hi Shelby!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

an amosh person used an electrical appliance

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops