What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Is this a chair?

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What is next?

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops