What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Six million.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops