Women's football

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +29

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops