How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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MICHAEL

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops