Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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poop

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops