What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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96

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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Romney 2012

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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