a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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*you're

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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Vagina-Boob

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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