The Holocaust

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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oh hiya come in

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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