Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Anti jokes.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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Barack Obama

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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