penis hehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +49

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Halo < COD

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

96

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

democracy

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

That didn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops