What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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96

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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oh hiya come in

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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