Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

osama bin ladens hiding spot

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

Looks through the peephole.

Hi Jacob You cool

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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