Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Nah

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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