why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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