What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

democracy

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops