Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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