What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

math test 2=2

Why did the bunny eat his food

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

you know what hurts.... PAIN

Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

Women's rights.

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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