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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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*you're

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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