whats really hot the sun

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Six million.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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Chicken

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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