Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

Women's rights.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

That didn't hurt.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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