What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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Anti jokes.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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