Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +35

96

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

democracy

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +33

That didn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops