whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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Men's rights.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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