What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

I cant think of one (._. )

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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