What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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like for a handjob.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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don't look behind you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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