How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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knock knock

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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