Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Black Veil Brides.

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Penis.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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That didn't hurt.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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