OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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8============D PEN1S

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Why did the black guy fail his math test? Because he did not study enough and as a result was no prepared to take a test on that material.

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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