Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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