What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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8============D PEN1S

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A horse walks into a bar... it was accompanied by a blind man for it was a seeing eye pony and the bartender who was not tolerant to blind people turned away the man causing him to recieve dirty glances from the kindly patrons of the bar.

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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