A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

thumb_up thumb_down -65

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Roses and red, Violets are blue, This type of poem, Must always rhyme.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Darude - Sandstorm

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops