Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Nah

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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democracy

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops