Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops