A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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That didn't hurt.

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democracy

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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