I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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Women's rights.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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