What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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knock knock

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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h

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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