What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

thumb_up thumb_down +30

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops