Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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YOLO

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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