Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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h

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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whats better than 24................. 25

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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