Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Nah

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Japan called... They need help.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

96

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

thumb_up thumb_down +33

LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops