you know what hurts.... PAIN

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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democracy

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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