What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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anne hatthaway

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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