Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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