What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

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monkey sponge

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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