A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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42.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Gestapo.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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