Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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How much is an abortion? A life

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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penis hehehehe

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Halo < COD

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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