how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

thumb_up thumb_down +20

h

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops