Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Japan called... They need help.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops