whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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you will now laugh.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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