Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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