Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +37

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops