2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

So a disabled man walks into a bar...

John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

A woman leaves the kitchen.

How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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