Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Japan called... They need help.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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That didn't hurt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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