say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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