Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Gestapo.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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*you're

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whats better than 24................. 25

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Don't think of granny porn

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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A Banana wrote this...

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Is this a chair?

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops