A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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