A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

thumb_up thumb_down +53

penis hehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops