What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your so stupid, that your stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hey man have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? ... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ben Colbert is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops