Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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whats really hot the sun

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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The 19th Amendment

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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