q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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The 19th Amendment

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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