Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

john liked the paper........ so he took it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops