Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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96

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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