Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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