Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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WILSON!!!!!!!!!

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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Canada

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops