How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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