a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a retard lost...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sarah Palin is President

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

thumb_up thumb_down -37

whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

thumb_up thumb_down -47

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

thumb_up thumb_down +52

. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops