Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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penis hehehehe

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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Women's rights.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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