Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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