Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Bin Laden comes out of a cave

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

thumb_up thumb_down +27

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops