D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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women

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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A Banana wrote this...

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Chayton

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops