what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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