A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

*you're

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Frown is a four letter word.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops