9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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Hellen Keller

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Do you need any assistance?

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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