"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Nah

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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