What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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