Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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The Holocaust

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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h

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Cows go moo.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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