How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

thumb_up thumb_down +28

B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats9+10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops