- Anti Joke

What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

What is worse

what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

1 what do gay horses eat? 2 hayyyy 1 no horse dick

What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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