Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Gestapo.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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