Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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OBAMA

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out the tree? Hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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