Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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