What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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whats better than 24................. 25

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Gestapo.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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