Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

thumb_up thumb_down +7

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +5

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops