why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

That's Racist

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

Child birth. So easy women can do it.

How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

Womens Rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Whats another word for Thesaurus?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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