Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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