One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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