A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

thumb_up thumb_down

A black guy moves in to your neighborhood. The housing values plummet due to the current economic recession.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

you're a loser >>>>>>>>>>>

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops