Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Japan called... They need help.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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