Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

baby loves lalma

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

thumb_up thumb_down +42

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +38

John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +36

without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is big and white, not the moon CC

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops