- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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why did the chicken cross the road

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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penis

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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