What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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