If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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like for a handjob.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Nathan Gooderson.

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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