I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

Period Blood

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

Jake Bowar

If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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