Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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democracy

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That didn't hurt.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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