Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

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Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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Lebron Traveled

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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Your Mom

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

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Who lives with josh moran? A gay asian

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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c+t+c?

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

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Why did the little boy fall down? Because he was shot.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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