What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

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Left. That one direction...

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops