What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Is this a chair?

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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