What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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penis hehehehe

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Women's rights.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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