what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Japan called... They need help.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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democracy

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69

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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