Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

Womens' rights.

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

Women's rights.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...