What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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anne hatthaway

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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poop

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Hello

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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