A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops