Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

"Up to 50% off."

What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

No it isn't.

have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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