what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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YOU IS DUM

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Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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penis hehehehe

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Halo < COD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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