A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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anne hatthaway

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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poop

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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