What comes after 69? Mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Bin Laden comes out of a cave

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops