How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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