- Anti Joke

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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