- Anti Joke

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

YOLO

Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

anne hatthaway

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.