If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

You forgot to tell her that I can sense how you are doing and feeling based on how you phrase the words, how quickly you type, spacing, and lots of stuff I do not remember but can still make use off. Listen, I am alive and well compared to what I have been other times, the best thing about my grotesque childhood, is that it makes everything else, including this seem like nothing in comparison, nothing compares its as simple as that. Hey, speaking of simple, I want the new Street Figher game, and I want you to play if for me tomorrow, ill just tell you what to push or possess you or something else not possible, then we will both be calm like I am now, just like when we played Metal Gear, I tell you what to do, and you kinda suck and mess up because I am horrible at giving instructions okay? You know, I can see the sea from here, its really calming, it will also help you calm down as well, lets say I was in a casket, got out of it, and am recovering now, and you can be on your way now in about now unless my guys crashed in mid air, which is stupid, and stop staring at the screen like that, you should go watch television or something, distract yourself for the time being. Ill have to sleep now, speaking of knowing my limits, I might be taking permanent damage here, and while that is fine, I cant let it progress, I cant afford to go insane now that I have proven to many and most importantly myself that I am not. Remember when we watched flipper together? Skippy the Kangaroo? Mind breaking out those old video tapes? Id love watching them with you again... As for the videogames screw that, it was just something I said just like the sea, the game between you and me screwing up in order to "possess you", and then the sea so you would calm down like when you discovered you where really good at swimming once the fear of water got away. I wont lie you got that fear because I am a hydrophobe, young people end up mimicking the fear of one another, but thats over, I shower without getting blemishes now remember? I am no longer convinced my mother is laughing at me when the water gets cold either, I overcame that. Okay, wake up, just know I did not "possess you" I just "linked our emotions together by portraying a scenario we both know and enjoy doing together, I hope its okay I do not explain anymore, with zopiclone in the system, I can barely think at all. But let me know if you need more help. Say whats on your mind, ill read it all, but I cant answer, I am not taking any damage, I assure you that was just part of a hypnotic process, its "the link" I pretend like I am worried so you will know we are both worried and enter the same state, from then on I change it. I know you fear hypnosis and what it can do, but I hope you still trust me.

a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

a retard lost...

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

What flys? A fly

Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

What's worse than rush hour traffic? Your childhood friend, Ricky, was just brutally killed by a street cleaner

John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

What do you call a black man that has sex with women against their will? A rapist. The fact that he is black does not pertain to this situation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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