Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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