What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +38

BWAT

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +34

LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

69

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did dean carmon say to his brother? - I don't know I'm not his brother

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops