What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

HARRY EFFING STYLES

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...