What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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There is a white man, a black guy, and an Asian in a car. It got into an accident who did it? Asian dude

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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john liked the paper........ so he took it

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Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

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How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

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Sex. That is all.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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