What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Hellen Keller

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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Nathan Gooderson.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Anne Frank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops