A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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Lil' Wayne

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops