How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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Canida

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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What do you eat when you watch porn? Corn

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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maddie latino

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How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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Women's rights.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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How do magnets work?

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Rock mattress.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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