Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops