What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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That's Racist

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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