An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A: Knock knock. B: <>

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

math test 2=2

thumb_up thumb_down +52

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

knock knock whos there? how should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Womens' rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +42

69

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops