A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

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S.O.P.A

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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Rock mattress.

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It says so on your cap.

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Lebron Traveled

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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ha.

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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