Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Enchilada

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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"Up to 50% off."

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Is this a chair?

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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