why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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25

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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