Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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Amputations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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