What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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Hellen Keller

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minced oaths

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Nathan Gooderson.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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