Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Gestapo.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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