What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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