roses are red, violets are violet

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Amputations.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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