Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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whats really hot the sun

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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