Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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minced oaths

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World Peace

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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