Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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democracy

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops