1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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Hellen Keller

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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World Peace

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops