How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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How many testicles did Adolph Hitler have? Two.

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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