What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

Hellen Keller

What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

Knock knock *runs away laughing*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...