How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

Whats another word for Thesaurus?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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