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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

Child birth. So easy women can do it.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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