How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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