Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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42.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops