What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Looks through the peephole.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops