Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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Homework.

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S.O.P.A

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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