knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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whos gay? you are

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops