What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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