What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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