What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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the your face joke

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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Wolf Pussy

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Womens' rights.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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69

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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