Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Amputations.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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