How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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