What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

Nah

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

suck my dick.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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