Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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women

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Where's my tractor?

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops