How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Penis!

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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