What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? - Two bee stings Whats worse than two bee stings? -The Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? -Three bee stings

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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hey i just meet you and this is crazy but i picked out our wedding cake and named our 4 future children :-)))))))

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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why cant Joey jump for joy? beacause hes dead

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Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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This is my joke. funny

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops