A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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A seal walks into a club.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Steve Jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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