What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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69

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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