How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops