What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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anne hatthaway

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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