why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Paul Dylan King!

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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