whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

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i love antijokes

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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hey i just meet you and this is crazy but i picked out our wedding cake and named our 4 future children :-)))))))

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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why cant Joey jump for joy? beacause hes dead

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Will you marry me?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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