Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Women's football

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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