Amputations.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Anne Frank.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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