You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree ... Because it was dead

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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YOU IS DUM

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Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops