Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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i love antijokes

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

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Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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What is worse than hell?

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Who lives with josh moran? A gay asian

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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Men's rights.

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Will you marry me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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