how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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Did you know?

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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