Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

German sausage is the wurst

What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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