waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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wow garlic, yum

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Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

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What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

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Once upon a time, there was a pair of headphones. It loved the sound of music.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a n**ga!

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'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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