if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops