What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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My Girlfriend

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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What's up? The sky.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops