A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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