Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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Men's rights.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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Will you marry me?

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Lil' Wayne

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops