Your mother

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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