what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

BWAT

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops