A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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whats pale and white your ass.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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a

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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