minced oaths

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Looks through the peephole.

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why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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