What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Banana(s)

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

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What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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