A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

What's up? The sky.

a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

whos gay? you are

A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

roses are red violets are blue i hate black people

Wanna hear a joke? My penis size.

What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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