what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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The Holocaust

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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