What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Banana(s)

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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