A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Your mother

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women

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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42.

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What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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