Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

Did you know?

What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

Will gropes Ebola victims

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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