How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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