What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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