What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Nah

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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