HARRY EFFING STYLES

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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