Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

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why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A seal walks into a club.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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