Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats 0+0 0

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +49

My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock knock (No one is home)

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +45

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops