What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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