What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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