Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

Tennesse

How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

who smells? •Liam

Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

is mayonnaise an instrument?

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

whats pale and white your ass.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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