what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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