The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

BWAT

What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

h

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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