Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Du bist mein Kampf

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

thumb_up thumb_down +14

My friends are like trampolines I have none

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops