"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

My Girlfriend

An iguana walks out of a bar

"Up to 50% off."

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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