A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Do you know that car over there? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops