Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

A black goes to college

What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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