Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Susie has Autism

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planking.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Did you know?

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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