what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

c+t+c?

why was the baby crying? a rabit took her bottle and ate her frit snacks.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...