Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Turn around.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do when you see a one legged black man? Stop laughing and reload.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops