Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops