Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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in the begining... god made some stuff

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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