Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Whats9+10 19

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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