The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Paul Dylan King!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The Charlotte bobcats.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops