A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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