A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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Looks through the peephole.

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Baseball

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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