whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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