Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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This is my joke. funny

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

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Ben Colbert is gay

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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