The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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I cant think of one (._. )

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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