What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What is brown and sticky?

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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