Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

69

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops