How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

thumb_up thumb_down +47

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock knock (No one is home)

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops