What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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69

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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