What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Women's rights.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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