Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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