Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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