Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops