I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

My mom.

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

dog

call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

stuff and dogs {()}

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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