Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

thumb_up thumb_down +15

cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Steve Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

is mayonnaise an instrument?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

BOOBIES!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops