What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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I cant think of one (._. )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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