Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

h

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

69

Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

suck my dick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

Knock, Knock. Come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...