What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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