Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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S.O.P.A

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Will gropes Ebola victims

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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What do you do when you see a one legged black man? Stop laughing and reload.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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