Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Kah-________-

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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