A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

is mayonnaise an instrument?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I saw a chameleon. Then it died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops