If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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robin, get in the car.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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