Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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69

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a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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