What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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planking.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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