Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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