An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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Lil' Wayne

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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