What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Women's rights.

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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What abou three times

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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The Holocaust

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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