How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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