What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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ps3

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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