Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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whats pale and white your ass.

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women leaving the kitchen

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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