A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Kah-________-

Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

Susie has Autism

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

planking.

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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