Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

thumb_up thumb_down +28

women have rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An Asian walks out of the library.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

look left now look right. washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

thumb_up thumb_down +24

you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops