Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Steve Jobs.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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1234 5

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Don't think of granny porn

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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