Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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