A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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