Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The Charlotte bobcats.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

25

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops