A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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planking.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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