Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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69

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops