1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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What is brown and sticky?

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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cms.......?????

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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What sucks?

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops