h

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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