Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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minced oaths

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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