- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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Paul Dylan King!

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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