What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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