Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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There's no "i" in tim.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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Black Veil Brides.

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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