An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

poop

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

What do you do when you see a one legged black man? Stop laughing and reload.

How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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