An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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Junior's love life.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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dj miky

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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