Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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1unno;njfjk

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Obama is a good president.

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8============D PEN1S

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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