Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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