A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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Black people are clen.

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Penis jokes.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Can I touch it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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