jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

Wanna hear a joke? No.

What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...