A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

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i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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womens rights

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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42.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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