What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a show horse jumps over a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +17

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

women leaving the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What iz stupid? Hibiyav

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops