- Anti Joke

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

Tim's gay.

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

An asian walks out of math class

Knock knock whos there punctuation

What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

Mitt Romney for president.

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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