What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops