Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Yeah, totally.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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