How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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Paul Dylan King!

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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