Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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Penis.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Justin Bieber

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops