whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +26

9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

penis that is all

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops