What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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Tennesse

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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