Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops