What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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roses are red, violets are violet

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops