Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Steve Jobs.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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