What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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223

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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