A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Whats 0+0 0

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Sarah Palin is President

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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Wolf Pussy

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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The WNBA.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Paul Dylan King!

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops