GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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