What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down

42

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops