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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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