How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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derp

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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The horse's name was Friday

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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Junior's love life.

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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