What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

The horse's name was Friday

Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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