Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -42

12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

69

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

i hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Women's sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops