So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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Icecream

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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