Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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you just lost the game!

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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