Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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A man. That is all.

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Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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Yeah, totally.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Compton

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Rebecca Black

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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