in the begining... god made some stuff

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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i hate you.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What is a question?

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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