Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +82

How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

thumb_up thumb_down +50

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Women's sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops