What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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What's up? The sky.

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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Pavel Novak

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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I only like NY as a friend.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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