A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

A black goes to college

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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