Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

Women's rights.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

NEVER

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

MICHAEL

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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