Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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I only like NY as a friend.

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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tim rafter died no one cared

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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