Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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your life

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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women's lacrosse.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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Penis.

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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