Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

Pavel Novak

Chuck Norris

Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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