What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Rebecca Black

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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My Girlfriend

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops