How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Anne Frank.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Pickles

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666 im christian

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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