Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How much is an abortion? A life

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -44

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +47

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +43

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Bin Laden is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops