Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

thumb_up thumb_down +31

ROSS G IS OBESE

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The Charlotte bobcats.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops