how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Looks through the peephole.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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co jo kurwa tocza?

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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French people

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Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Why did Tyrone attack? Because he was getting made fun of

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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