What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Chuck Norris

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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you will die someday

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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