Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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women's rights

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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