So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Chuck Norris

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

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What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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My butt!!!!

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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