Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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2

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Windows Vista

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NEVER

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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