What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Nah

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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