why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Women's sports.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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