Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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Chuck Norris

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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The horse said "nay."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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The WNBA.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Small titties.

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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