Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Pavel Novak

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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