what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

Penis.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

What's 5+7? Piccillo

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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