Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -149

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -63

what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy fall out of his tree house? the tree house was hit by lightning

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why Did The Girl Fall Off The Swing. IDK maybe she fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops