A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

What's funny about my gay friend? He is a stand-up comedian.

What's worse than the holocaust? Peoples' bad attempts at Anti-Jokes.

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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