no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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Hi

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

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What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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What's worse than the holocaust? Peoples' bad attempts at Anti-Jokes.

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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