God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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whyo black peopple lie koolade the like the taste

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Anal cheese curds.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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The WNBA

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Water, please.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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