In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Kittens.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Bin Laden is dead.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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boobs

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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your life

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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