A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops