Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

Kittens.

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

I avhe dyiaexls.

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

Why was johny late to school? He died

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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