Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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