Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What is brown and sticky?

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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dead babies

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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