I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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