How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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What is brown and sticky?

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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What sucks?

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your mother is so lesbian

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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